i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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