thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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