Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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