did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
