I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
