Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
