How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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