porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This house was built for laser tag.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
