You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
