this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
