So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
