I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
