my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
