He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
