Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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