Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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