if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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