I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
