I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there was a trapeze. enough said
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
