I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
