This is not my ceiling
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
