What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
