I think I died a long time ago.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
