yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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