The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We talked him into tasing himself.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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