Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
