My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
