Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
