We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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