come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
