batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
