Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
