Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dignity is for republicans.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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