then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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