Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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