What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
