Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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