4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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