dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
