hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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