He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
