I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
