No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
