Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Randomize
