Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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