she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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