In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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