why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
