the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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