This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
