dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
