making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
